It Takes A Village

My father was an educator within the Maplewood-South Orange School District over a career that spanned 30 years.  He was somewhat of a “pioneer” with his involvement within such cutting edge programs as “Head Start,” which helped inner city kids with basic skills during the summer months.  He taught me early on that volunteerism was one of the most important contributions a person can make to improve their community and the lives of others less fortunate.  He challenged me with an aspiration to make an impact on the lives of 500 children in my lifetime.  I didn’t think much about it at the time, but knew one day that I’d have to make good on it.

When you look around New Providence, you can see volunteerism at work everywhere.   From the parents who sign up to be class moms, to those who step up and coach youth teams, to the elected officials who help run our borough government and board of education; volunteerism is the engine which makes so many things within our town possible.    

But why do people volunteer?  For me, it is a matter of wanting to make a difference and to provide our kids with better recreation programs, safer facilities, better instruction, and a better overall opportunity to compete on the athletic field.  The satisfaction of a completed project or successful season makes me not only feel a part of the community, but also part of a legacy that others may view as the inspiration and encouragement for them to pay forward. 

Yet there’s a dark side, when volunteers feel that their efforts are under-appreciated, where they find that they can’t be in two places at the same time, and other times in which they feel the wrath of an unhappy parent whose child didn’t get to play quarterback or a resident who rants about a resolution that didn’t pass.  While even at these depths of a message playing in your head, “let no good deed go unpunished,” you persevere through these struggles and remain guided by the hope that it will all be worth it in the end, and endeavor onward.

I’m reminded by my first coaching experience with the Soccer Club with a group of 5th graders and one boy who asked me to stay after practice to work with him.  We did extra drills, worked on his technique until his mom would pick him up.  Several years later, my phone rang and it was David, calling to tell me about scoring his first goal, but also thanking me for spending that extra time with him at .  I smiled, remembered my aspiration and said to myself, “…only 499 more to go.”

My daughter was playing PAL softball in Elizabeth a few years back. As our team huddled under the shelter house during a rain delay, we saw a sign hanging on a nearby fence that read, “Before you criticize anyone, when was the last time YOU volunteered.” The coaches and parents all looked upon the sign and smiled in a manner as if to collectively say, “hmmm, I think I get it.”

Like the life lessons that a father passes onto a son, volunteerism runs through the veins of every vibrant community and keeps it alive.  Even though many of us have been on both ends of the volunteer spectrum, remain focused on the people you’re helping and the meaningful support you’re providing them, and remember the line from “The Blind Side” — you’re not changing that person’s life, they’re changing yours.